Drunk Logic Fan Pillows

"Ambitions... to receive the MBE for services to the brewing industry."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Computer Room.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Thinking Gears

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'Here's MY information highway!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Bright idea

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'Have you no common scents?!'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Staff Yearbook

How to get from A to Z. Right brain versus left brain.

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"Yo, this should be a two."

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

"The problem with your reasoned solutions is they don't fit my preconceived notions of the problems."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

'Occam's famed tool of parsimony.'