Drunk Logic Fan Gifts

"Ambitions... to receive the MBE for services to the brewing industry."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Computer Room.

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Thinking Gears

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'Here's MY information highway!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Bright idea

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

'Have you no common scents?!'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

How to get from A to Z. Right brain versus left brain.

Staff Yearbook

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"Yo, this should be a two."

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

"The problem with your reasoned solutions is they don't fit my preconceived notions of the problems."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Occam's famed tool of parsimony.'