Quirky Livestock Enthusiasts Gifts

"be-be-be-be"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Children have their campsite ruined by an assortment of farm animals.

"They’re real."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Pull the udder one

Sick Rancher Humor

"You're famous, Angus."

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

Cheesie Rider

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

THe UDDER Side

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Ranch Dressing

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

Carpet Cows

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows