Quirky Interior Design Enthusiast Pillows

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

Cake Free Zone

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Bathroom Fairy

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Rogue elephant

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

His & hers towels.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

'It's a coffee-book table.'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'Derek was extremely pleased with his new piano stool...'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Snow globe

'I told you I didn't want to talk about it!'

Superintendent

Missing sock

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Carnations.

Duck in a bathtub

"How?"

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

Arctic Snails.

"Are you willing to relocate?"

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."