Quirky Decor Fanatic Pillows

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Cake Free Zone

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Bathroom Fairy

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

His & hers towels.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Rogue elephant

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

'It's a coffee-book table.'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'Derek was extremely pleased with his new piano stool...'

Snow globe

Missing sock

Carnations.

'I told you I didn't want to talk about it!'

Superintendent

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

"How?"

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

Android with a computer print out as a scarf

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

Red in tooth and claw.