Quirky Instrumentalist Gifts

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

"I compose using post it notes!"

No Instruments Please

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

The Dancing Academy

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'