Quirky Songwriter Gifts

F&E Songwriters. We have an order for a song for the hypochondriac society! Great! You write the words and I'll do the malady!

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Anna Calvi

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Best before 65 million BC.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Don't editorialize."

Texturing the Walls

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"I compose using post it notes!"

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."