Quirky Writer Gifts

'I can do something that not even my teacher can do, read my handwriting.'

Man with typewriter on toilet.

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

I Do Not Have OCD

"Granted, I could have read your body of work to find out you specialize in dirty limericks before appointing you state poet laureate."

The Map of the human brain

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Don't editorialize."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Dreams I have had...

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Am I sensing fear?"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Large print e-book.

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

How I met your mother

The lesser of two evils.

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."