Quirky Musicologist Gifts

Bug Contemporary Music

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

"I compose using post it notes!"

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

Long necked giraffe playing long saxophone

'That's one hell of a mating call you've got there, Bob!'

"So obvious, there all the time"

Must be one of those underground bands.

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

Unconventional Music Player

Melody Cockroach.

Conductor Smokes Musical Notes.

"They listen to weird music, dress funny and you don't dare go into the bathroom after they've been in there!"

Alternative Accountants

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

Man without Fingers Playing Guitar

Hurdy gurdy

Anti-Saxophone

Parts of a Bagpipe

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

"It appears some faecal matter came into contact with some faecal anti-matter."

Isolating the coolness gene: "OK, a little more COltrane, and I think we've got it!"

Collussus Records. You say your music is influenced by Lawrence Welk and hip hop. What do you call it? "Bubble Rap"!