Quirky Gift Maven Pillows

"If they pay the ransom promptly I'm throwing in a free tote bag."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Cheeze Wiz.

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Easter Island Cheeseheads

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Emergency Phone.

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Ball as water-melon.

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'We have three minutes left.'

A watch face with Stonehenge

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

Where Deviled Eggs come from