Quirky Gift Enthusiast Pillows

"We found this in your brain."

Caveman Valentine,

'Nurse, that isn't a catheter you've just inserted. It's the other end of my hosepipe!'

'I don't care what it takes, I'm going to get rid of this waddle!'

You know you can't return it. Mother had a GPS microchip sewn into the lining.

'We tried everything...I'm afraid your husband's going to be a human.'

"Well it's definitely not Athlete's Foot....but I'd say it's some kind of fungal infection."

"But you're not allowed to make cold calls."

'You see, aggressive advertising does work.'

'That's no mirage, that's an olive garden. . . Let's turn around.'

101 uses of a dead cat: boxing gloves

'It's a piece of sod from my homeland. I always wanted to serve my country!'

'It's the thought that counts.'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

I love you Geyser...

'Apparently him being 108 and dead isn't sufficient reason for laying him off.'

'I love it, grandma! Thank you for the thong quilt!'

Just Divorced Car

'I had a Near-Death experience and all I got was this T-shirt.'

Captionless: A fisherman is handed his bobbin and fishing hook by a octopus

101 uses of a dead cat: machine gun.

'Don't you like your new Air-guitar son?'

The AdRams Family no.29 - New Pentium Cow Processor

STRIP *The Fan * Cantona's jockstrap bought at auction

'He donated his body to science.'

Go, or I'll call the police.

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

"Hey look! It perfectly matches the virtual pot plant I gave you last year!"

Cat in Hearse

Charlie Tailclouds realized he'd tapped into people's hidden, dark desires with his newest craft offering...the Dreamsmasher."

"I saw you sneaking that case of toilet tissue in the house early this morning, Dad... what are you up to?"

"I got you a mug for your birthday... his name's George."

Giant sandwich bags.

Last-Minute Gifts

"I'm lost. Also, I accidentally unplugged something."