Quirky Gift Fanatics Pillows

"Once again Igor is sent out for a brain and once again he brings back the wrong one. This time he returns with the brain of Libby 'Lipsticks' Harris the world kiss chase champion."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Emergency Phone.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Easter Island Cheeseheads

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Ball as water-melon.

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

How Amazon was invented

'We have three minutes left.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

High speed cinder block

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'