Quirky Gift Connoisseur Pillows

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Snakes By Post LTD

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Lactose Intolerant

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Emergency Phone.

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'We have three minutes left.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

High speed cinder block

Balloon dog poos.

Imagine

Kissing the Fish

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'