Quirky Gift Aficionados Pillows

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

Emergency Phone.

I'm sorry Cupid, but you've lost that childlike innocence.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Lactose Intolerant

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Cheeze Wiz.

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'We have three minutes left.'

How Amazon was invented

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Diner

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Fly fishing.

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

High speed cinder block

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

A baby using a heavy duty drill

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"Shouldn't have, you really."