Quirky Gift Aficionados Pillows

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

Emergency Phone.

I'm sorry Cupid, but you've lost that childlike innocence.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

How Amazon was invented

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'We have three minutes left.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

High speed cinder block

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'