Quirky Furniture Fanatic Pillows

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Get... a-nother room!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Surprise!"

Cake Free Zone

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Bathroom Fairy

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

Rogue elephant

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Man and woman buying furniture.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

His & hers towels.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'