Quirky Fund Manager Gifts

'20 dollars in quarters, under the table, please.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

'How many pension fund managers does it take to change a lightbulb...?'

Piggy bank queuing at the bank.

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Low-Rent Stockholders

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'