Quirky Fund Manager T-Shirts

'20 dollars in quarters, under the table, please.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

Animal worries.

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

Piggy bank queuing at the bank.

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

Low-Rent Stockholders

'How many pension fund managers does it take to change a lightbulb...?'

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'