Quirky Diet Enthusiast Gifts

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Vegetarian Birds

Tzatzikicicle

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

Eye of Newt Helper

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

"We're very strict. No soy milk, no veggie burgers, no margarine... nothing that even looks like an animal product."

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

'Slow and hurl.'

Lady keeping fit by skipping with her mouse chord.

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

Fruits and vegetables

Roadkill Cafe...specials every day.

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'You order a pizza topped with sunflower seeds and crackers?'

Parisian Bohemians - Proprietor of a rabbit restaurant catching stray cats