Quirky Health Lover Gifts

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

Yoga for Alcoholics

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Vegetarian Birds

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

Fruits and vegetables

Lady keeping fit by skipping with her mouse chord.

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

'Slow and hurl.'

"I'm still thirsty. Maybe I've got leaky gut syndrome."

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"I'm on the 'half and half' diet. I eat half and my dog eats the other half."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

"I sprinkle each bun with a little chia seed...you know...nature's super food."

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

Dr. Potato Head

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

'You are right; it does appear to be some kind of a fungus.'

The high fibre diet

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

'Yes, finally, Stanley found a diet that really help him to lose weight.'

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

'But Darling, how can it possibly be bad for me? I only smoke a couple a day...'