Quirky Decor Seeker Pillows

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

The Snowpire

Optical illusions.

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

Cake Free Zone

Emergency Hipster Beard

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Bathroom Fairy

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Rogue elephant

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

His & hers towels.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

'Derek was extremely pleased with his new piano stool...'

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

Snow globe

Missing sock

"How?"

Carnations.

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

"She always gets the upper bunk."

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

The Ugly Plant

Red in tooth and claw.

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

Sightings reported to Americans for Decency

Alien with flying spaceships on wall instead of flying ducks