Quirky Croquet Player Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: croquet hoops.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

Let the Summer Games Begin!

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

'I work at the airport.'

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

"Things get more interesting at noon."

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

Skier.

The team wondered if he would ever fit in.

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

Discus accidents.

Prison Croquet Team

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

Polo and Croquet player battle for the ball.

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

Action shot portrait.

No Croquet

Victorians playing croquet.

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

'I'll see you kidney and raise you my liver.'

'Can somebody please find Y?'

Downhill taxidermy never made it past the trial stages of the Olympics.

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."