Croquet Amateur Gifts

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"The goal is to hate yourself."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Crotchet

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

"Things get more interesting at noon."

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

Prison Croquet Team

No Croquet

"A little high and inside."

Polo and Croquet player battle for the ball.

Crocheting during lockdown

Victorians playing croquet.

"I don't wish to alarm you but someone has soiled your favourite hand crocheted rug."

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

Chess cleaner

'You have to pick up your game: My dentist says you've neglected to clean my back teeth...'

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

Prison sports team members hiding their faces in the team photograph

Eligible Bachelor: 'Shall I follow you up, Annie; or leave myself for Lizzie?'

'I've been looking everywhere for that!'

Ladies Playing Croquet

'Look at me!! I'm standing!! I'm standing!!!'

"Puff! Pant! They don't have to do this in the Premier League!"

"He won't wear the sweater I crocheted for him."

Gardener digging a flower bed over the croquet lawn.

Ice croquet.