Amateur Athlete Gifts

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"I don't want to make a rookie mistake, so do I sign my contract with an X or an O?"

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

'I don't understand how a man who jogs so slow, can do everything else so fast.'

For God's Sake - Try Dibley from the pavilion end

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"The goal is to hate yourself."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Cristiano Ronaldo

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"A little high and inside."

Tug the Toggle

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

"That' was great - let's run though that again."