Amateur Athlete Gifts

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"I don't want to make a rookie mistake, so do I sign my contract with an X or an O?"

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

'I don't understand how a man who jogs so slow, can do everything else so fast.'

For God's Sake - Try Dibley from the pavilion end

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"The goal is to hate yourself."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

"A little high and inside."

Tug the Toggle