Amateur Boxer Gifts

"Dad! I didn't know you were a boxer!"

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Let's consider an early dive."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Nun Fight.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Trainer: I'll warn you now Johnny, don't underestimate this guy. If he gets you into a corner, he'll clean you up.

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Mayo-A-Mayo

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

"Fielder, did you punch out?"

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

Drink it! We've all had to sacrifice our kids for our careers in one way or another... And besides, you need the protein, Rock.