Amateur Runner Gifts

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'Hey, wait for me!'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Women in a cross country race

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

401K

Man running

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Exercise stroller moms can sure be competitive."

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

'That Brown bears watching!'

'Costume - What costume?'

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

Congratulations for male runner

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'