Amateur Runner T-Shirts

"Is this your first marathon?"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Women in a cross country race

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'Hey, wait for me!'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

401K

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

Man running

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

"Exercise stroller moms can sure be competitive."

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

'That Brown bears watching!'

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

'Costume - What costume?'

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

Congratulations for male runner