Croquet Comedian Gifts

Prisoners playing croquet with their ball and chain.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Gary turns 40.

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

Sick Rancher Humor

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

"Things get more interesting at noon."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

He was good. Real good.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

Prison Croquet Team

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"Objection over-ruled Counselor! Proceed to the clearly marked Fire Exit, if you follow my meaning."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."

"Isn't it enough that I know the truth?"

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.