Crockery Comedian Gifts

Punch Bowl

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Optimist

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Teapot

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"One group gets tiny copies of the 'Times,' the other gets tiny copies of the 'Post.'"

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

Rattlecornsnake

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

'This decaf's lousy.'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

Funeral for a Cartoonist

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

"Two minutes out of the water and he's already evolvier-than-thou."

Keister Island

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

Melody Cockroach.

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

"It's trouble for Chubby when Mitzi brings out the vacuum."