Croquet Comedian Pillows

Prisoners playing croquet with their ball and chain.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Gary turns 40.

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

Sick Rancher Humor

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"Things get more interesting at noon."

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

He was good. Real good.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

Prison Croquet Team

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."

"Isn't it enough that I know the truth?"