Cornet Comedian Gifts

"Would you like to hear some music while you hold."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Gary turns 40.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

Nun Binning the Devil

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Rattlecornsnake

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

Snowman carrot substitute.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'Timeout! ... Coaching change.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'How bad is it?'

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

'He's a little unpredictable, but with the right combination of medication and therapy, he can make an impact on this league.'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'I want a smaller carrot.'

'It was Bob's last wish to spread his ashes on the spot where he spent most of his athletic career.'

'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'

Clown Cowboy:'DRAW!'

'Are you paying attention Eurasia?' 'Sorry, I was drifting.'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!