Croquet Player Gifts

"Ha, ha! That's a pretty weird way to play croquet!"

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Crotchet

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"Things get more interesting at noon."

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

Prison Croquet Team

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

'It had a happy ending... the guy loses the girl, but finds a good attorney.'

No Croquet

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

Polo and Croquet player battle for the ball.

Crocheting during lockdown

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

Victorians playing croquet.

"I don't wish to alarm you but someone has soiled your favourite hand crocheted rug."

Prison sports team members hiding their faces in the team photograph

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."

Eligible Bachelor: 'Shall I follow you up, Annie; or leave myself for Lizzie?'

Revised tales of the old west. They used some sneaky tactics -- Really ambushed their opponents! It's been a fierce fight but seems to be turning into a massacre! He better shoot straight or it might be curtains for him! Aim carefully! Don't pull the trigger too quickly! What an epic battle! This day will become legendary! "The shootout at the croquet corral"!

Downhill taxidermy never made it past the trial stages of the Olympics.

'You have to pick up your game: My dentist says you've neglected to clean my back teeth...'

Rafael Nadal

Bobsleigh practice.

'Insurance?'