Croquet Player Gifts

"Ha, ha! That's a pretty weird way to play croquet!"

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

Crotchet

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

"Things get more interesting at noon."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

Prison Croquet Team

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

'It had a happy ending... the guy loses the girl, but finds a good attorney.'

No Croquet

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

Polo and Croquet player battle for the ball.

Victorians playing croquet.

Crocheting during lockdown

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."

"I don't wish to alarm you but someone has soiled your favourite hand crocheted rug."

Prison sports team members hiding their faces in the team photograph

Eligible Bachelor: 'Shall I follow you up, Annie; or leave myself for Lizzie?'

'You have to pick up your game: My dentist says you've neglected to clean my back teeth...'

Downhill taxidermy never made it past the trial stages of the Olympics.

'Insurance?'

Bobsleigh practice.