Quirky Critics Gifts

No shoes, No shirt, No Service.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Illogic Tree

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'My dentist recommended it.'

Expressions of mystery.

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'I like it.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'It says here you like to push the envelope.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

'…and then I invented ‘prong-less' barbed wire…'

Before the Salivating Dogs

"It looks like fecal transplants may do us in."

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

"Wouldn't it be easier to get one of those pregnancy testing kits from the chemiost, Julie?"

"Yes, your work does speak to me and it's telling me you can't paint."

Cat Annoyed At Mice Developing The Modern Ballistic Missile

"What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to be certain about everything these days."

Toilet Paper

'It's simple really-the windscreen wiper that cuts up parking tickets!'