Quirky Critics Mugs

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

No shoes, No shirt, No Service.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Illogic Tree

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'My dentist recommended it.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Expressions of mystery.

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'I like it.'

'It says here you like to push the envelope.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

Before the Salivating Dogs

'…and then I invented ‘prong-less' barbed wire…'

"It looks like fecal transplants may do us in."

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

Cat Annoyed At Mice Developing The Modern Ballistic Missile

"Wouldn't it be easier to get one of those pregnancy testing kits from the chemiost, Julie?"

"What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to be certain about everything these days."

"Yes, your work does speak to me and it's telling me you can't paint."