Quirky Critique Enthusiast Gifts

Erractic Review

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Football Crazy strip six

Filling the Missile Gap

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'My dentist recommended it.'

The Real Russian history

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'What's wrong with you?'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

Art is a cruel mistress.

Editor

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

If you want to get big as a radio host, you've got to differentiate yourself from all the other mean, insulting critics. I have a plan. You need to start being nice. That way, you'll really surprise people when you turn on them. That's the stupidest @#$% Idea I've ever heard, you muscle-bound ape! It needs work. Damn. What if I retract the muscle-bound part?

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

The Doomed Character

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

"They learn how to say 'Gracias' and we're supposed to be thankful."

Ezra Pound

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

Cat Annoyed At Mice Developing The Modern Ballistic Missile

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

'I really don't see the point?'

Circus News