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Erractic Review

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Football Crazy strip six

Filling the Missile Gap

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'My dentist recommended it.'

The Real Russian history

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Ezra Pound

Art is a cruel mistress.

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

The Doomed Character

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

"They learn how to say 'Gracias' and we're supposed to be thankful."

Editor

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

Cat Annoyed At Mice Developing The Modern Ballistic Missile

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

'I really don't see the point?'

"Your earlier work was better."