Quirky Comedy Lovers Gifts

"Although banned in 1948, the art of target holding is still practiced among some traditionalists."

I've lied to you...I don't really look like Angelina Jolie.

"She's possessed by the devil!"

Mobile crem

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Theatre Masks and Butts

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Astral Projection

"Fresh pepper?"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

He wanted a different one.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Can I have flies with that'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

So You've Cloned Yourself

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,