Quippy Pencil Buyer Gifts

Home Business - Safe.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"My dad says this pencil was once used by William Shakespeare." "Is it 2B or not 2B?"

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

Unusual Offers

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'My dentist recommended it.'

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

'Please enter your pin now.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

Pencil sharpeners in hell

"Does it come with magnets?"

Jumble Sale

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

Hopeless Romantic - "I wandered lonely as a hat..."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.