Pencil Pun Appreciator Gifts

'With me it's been one mistake after another. Just look at my eraser!'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Seagiraffes

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

First Novels.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Cat Nip.

You're the puff in my pastry!

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Punt Cake

Banana Split...

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Cheeze Wiz.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."