Puns Appreciator Gifts

My horse for a kingdom.

Pirate eye test

"Mind if I thump it? I'm a Bible-thumper."

'Two cavities, not so bad.' 'I only have 3 teeth.'

'Everybody gets to go fishing but me! Life just isn't fair!'

'What's that funny smell?'

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten that dodgy fish."

'My luggage has gone to hell!'

"A funny thing happened on my way over here..."

Smile??? I'm pregnant.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Seagiraffes

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

First Novels.

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Cat Nip.

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

You're the puff in my pastry!

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

Banana Split...

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Punt Cake

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!