Pun Appreciators Gifts

"You know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you a werewolf."

"You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare"

Cruise ship called "S.S. Diarrhea"

'I inherited therefore I am'

Harvesting the folder crop in Manila

'I've finished grading your exams, and there was a lot of improvement in addition and subtraction. Of course, you're all still multiplying like rabbits.'

Wanted - for cow rustling, gun fighting and high levels of starchiness.

Helicopter weighed down by ball and chain

'That's right...nothing but big chain...'

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'Elizabeth, dangit, woman you are testing my patients.'

Mop chop.

'Dry rot! Are you sure?'

'It certainly is a big one!'

"Before each of you, you will find a bitter pill and a glass of water."

'You don't have to be a cow to work here...BUT IT HELPS!'

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

'We just don't click anymore.'

'Do Katie's braces count as 'precious metals'?'

One duck in a shooting gallery has managed to avoid being shot - 'I'm guess I'm just a lucky duck!'

'Don't tell anybody I asked, but why don't we chuck wood?!'

'Oh no ... that's not a good sign.'

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"I'm referring you to an embryologist."

"Happy fifth wedding anniversary: wood!"

"These doctors may have a point, but I can't make out what it is."

"It's been over for a while now. I caught him trying to fertilize some catfish eggs in June."

"And this is Kabob."

"It's about three miles north, as the naked mole rat burrows."

"Knuckle ball. Fork ball. Fast ball. Hair ball."

"I don’t know … there’s a small part of me that just wants to erase my childhood."