Pun Appreciator Gifts

Rubik's Pube

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

Gramma Police: 'Will work four food.'

"Have your people get in touch with my people."

"Makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

"Actually, I already knew where that little piggy went."

Pumpkin Spice Girls

"I've got to go to the hospital next week and have my ghoul-stones removed..."

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

Church mice: 'We'd like to talk to you about cheeses.'

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'I hurt my back last week, so I've been put on 'Light Duty' for a couple of weeks...'

'Are you alright? You seem tense...'

I can write eight life policies naming you as beneficiary...

'I need to arrange for some bridge financing.'

'Happens every Autumn. I find a girl I like and she ends up falling for some other guy.'

"Here. We promised you a big lab."

'Company Plannin Department'

'Cheetah!'

'This is a very unforgiving golf course.'

Quite frankly, Jim, I'm just not in the moo.

Receptionist to patients in waiting room: 'The doctor will be with you tomorrow as he believes that time heals all wounds.'

'His BACH is worse than his bite.'

"Next time you show up for a duel at high noon, remember to factor in Daylight Saving Time. I been standing here like an idiot for an hour."

Opportunity to demonstrate optimistic attitude

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Hen do!

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

D.J. Vu

Man reading referendum sheet asking what the spelling of the plural of referendum should be

'Did you know there's a medical procedure that can correct your unsightly spider veins?'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"I'm having trouble streaming."