Pun Admirers Gifts

Beware of Salivating Dog

"It's hard to put my best foot forward when I've got so many."

'So much for dogs looking like their owners'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

The Pink Bantha

Ink Refill.

'Aaar! Walk the person planked on the plank!'

Harry ordered a takeaway.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Copycats

Zombie standup

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

baby sweetcorn...

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"You're going to hate yourself."