Pun Admirer Gifts

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Check the exipration date. Make sure it hasn't gone bad."

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

Benedict Arnold sandwich

The fabulous unituba

The Origami Society...

"You want to reel your neck in, mate."

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Centaur walks by a 'Ped X-Breeding' sign on the sidewalk.

Deer Cross Dressing.

Closing Laugh: A -Z Dictionary

'Plastic Surgery. Closed for alterations.'

'Ouch, I think I pulled something.'

Tattoos - "Can you do a leery yob across my back?"

A therapy that got nowhere.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

I (heart) dogs. Me too! The saying "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog" is often attributed to Harry Truman. Presidents and their dogs have a special bond. Recent presidential dogs include Barack Obama's "Bo" and George W. Bush's "Barney." Truman should have had a pooch named "Buck." Because Buck would always stop here. I wish Ronald Reagan had owned a dog named "Gorbachev." Mister Gorbachev, chase down this ball! And I'll bet John Kennedy thought all dogs should be rewarded

"Forget the king’s men, Dumpty, you’re taking the fall!"

"You're goin' up the river, Sammy."

Armchair Is Highly Decorated

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Staff support"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Copycats

Zombie standup

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!