Quippy Comic Lover Gifts

'You'll have to make do with those until yours come back from the service department.'

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

An early space launch attempt.

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

Zeus's Caddy