Quip Master Pillows

"I know they're dead. That's why they're cheap."

Backdoor

"Roger, everything reminds you of sex."

Bat out of Hell

'No, no, I'm Water Cooler Carl of the Snappy One Liner. You want Copy Machine Mike of the Flip Remark.'

Jokes machine.

Sage and Onion

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Evolution Exam Results.

Zenemies.

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Quiz for dogs.

Good Luck!

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

"How'd I do on the test?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'What was Marx's theory of the origin of capital?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'This duck call works too well.'

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."