Quip Master Pillows

"I know they're dead. That's why they're cheap."

Backdoor

"Roger, everything reminds you of sex."

Bat out of Hell

'No, no, I'm Water Cooler Carl of the Snappy One Liner. You want Copy Machine Mike of the Flip Remark.'

Jokes machine.

Sage and Onion

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Evolution Exam Results.

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

Zenemies.

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

Quiz for dogs.

Good Luck!

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Show off."

"How'd I do on the test?"

'This duck call works too well.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'What was Marx's theory of the origin of capital?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

"Hoarder."