Quip Lovers Pillows

"Omigod. The entire axis of boring is in there."

Vicious Circle

"I love you, you big fool."

Jokes machine.

Sharp Eyes

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Bat out of Hell

Karine Jean-Pierre

Time Table

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

Teddy Boys' Picnic

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

Backdoor

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

The First Commuters

'She'd put 'The fear of God' into God himself!'

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

Wise Cracker

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Bored Room

"We met at the library..."

Strike A Balance

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

Back Down

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

Figure of Eight

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

Turn Coat

Waste Not

Bit on the Side

Mega Phone