Quip Collector Pillows

"Yes that's right, I specialise in twins."

Time Table

Hanging Fire

Strike A Balance

"You're hired, starting pay is twenty bucks an hour, later it can go up to thirty."

Turn Coat

Sharp Eyes

Daughter In Law

Waste Not

Back Down

Mega Phone

Bored Room

Figure of Eight

Ask Sadie

"Stumped"

Oil Change

Bit on the Side

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

'I'd prefer a hernia.'

Wise Cracker

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

He always expresses his wit in short quips. The pith of least resistance!

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."