Quip Collector Gifts

"Yes that's right, I specialise in twins."

Time Table

Hanging Fire

Strike A Balance

"You're hired, starting pay is twenty bucks an hour, later it can go up to thirty."

Turn Coat

Sharp Eyes

Daughter In Law

Waste Not

Back Down

Mega Phone

Bored Room

Figure of Eight

"Stumped"

Oil Change

Bit on the Side

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

'I'd prefer a hernia.'

Wise Cracker

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Playing cards.

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"