Qualification Collector Pillows

"Don't breath a word to anyone, but I'm never leaving graduate school."

"I didn't get the job. They said I was over-qualified."

"I see you have a N.V.Q and a M.B.A."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Make a lot of money."

Interdisciplinary studies.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"I started a collection!"

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Sharp Eyes

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

Ask Sadie

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Time Table

'How old is this vase?'

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

"Sorry, but you're overqualified."

Wise Cracker

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

"I'm sorry, but you're under-overqualified and over-underqualified."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."