Quipper Pillows

'What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?'

"I just got into a serious relationship. . . with the Southern District of New York."

"You have an anti-addiction...everyone just hates you!"

Airport

Back Down

Broad Minded

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Sharp Eyes

Jokes machine.

Bat out of Hell

Time Table

Ask Sadie

Backdoor

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

Wise Cracker

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

"We've agreed to count it as both a wave and a particle for tax purposes."

Figure of Eight

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

Back Down

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Bored Room

Strike A Balance

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

Bit on the Side

Waste Not

Turn Coat

Kitty Litter

Mega Phone

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."